Goals

I am not daring. I don’t gamble or take a lot of risks. I am quite timid – and often looking to avoid getting hurt {mentally, physically and emotionally}. I am full of fear. Deep down, I am the biggest wuss you might know.

But I am learning how to deal with it. How to deal with me. {If you are sick of reading this already, ask my husband what his secret is.}

But for reals. I am learning how to channel it.

Channeling aversion into action.

Channeling wait into opportunity.

Channeling sadness into purpose.

Channeling anger into motion.

Channeling time into memories.

{Fortunately or unfortunately – the jury is still out} I have an enthusiastic ebb and flow of emotions which may cause most the struggle and finally, I have found an outlet that allows me to drain the access anguish and fear out of my life.

Running.

It has allowed me to see some bright lights at the end of some pretty dark tunnels. It has helped me channel the destructive inner voice and boiling anxiety bottled up inside into productive and rewarding achievements. It feels like I defy pain more and more with every run. Heartache will be a staple of life from time to time {just like a bruised toe from a long run} but I have learned how to focus it. Channel it. Using these damaging emotions to better myself has been journey that I will continue to work on.

It feels like weights being removed from my chest over and over. It feels like I am getting closer and closer to freedom and I actually feel brave for the first time in my life.

With growing grit comes growing courage. And with growing courage comes growing goals.

Here is to reaching my next goal… I am ready to cross the finish line of a full marathon right in my hometown, MKE! And I am excited to say it will happen this November. {I have been saying it, but that was a little scary just typing it for real.}

Sign up for a 5k, half or full marathon today! Channel whatever is causing your suffering into a bigger goal. Training makes you brave. It makes you forget about life as you want it. Training makes you focus on life as you make it. This quote has been a driver for me lately:

Thanks for all your support and stay tuned for the “pursuit to my first full marathon” which will unfold right here on the blog.

Many Blessings and Cheers, Jax

I am thankful for exercise.

Growing up right next to the park with masses of kids running around, we were always active. We played every sport that was available to us from the second we got up in the morning to the second that the street lights went on at night {well maybe we tried to stay out past the street lights coming on a few times…}. In grade school and high school my only focus was sports {oh, and a social life}. I also cared a lot about fitness throughout college in hopes to match a healthy brain with a healthy body. I always said I will not lose this drive to lift weights, walk, run, keep in shape, and participate in yoga. I always said I will not let myself go. I said I will always find time to exercise. But then…our sweet little boy, Sal happened. I can’t tell you how fit I was during my pregnancy because it was impossible to keep the intense workout schedule I was doing {my sister-in-law and I were doing the popular video workout: Insanity when I found out I was pregnant}… but I can tell you I was practicing yoga, lifting, and walking on a regular basis and I only gained 25 lbs {I felt like a million bucks considering in my mind pregnancy was going to weigh on me – literally}. Now 14 months after our bundle of joy has made his debut, I cannot say that I feel any incline in my fitness levels. At all. I think they might have reverted, actually… I feel like an overtired Mamma that thinks more about being in shape than actually DOING the deed to get there. I am dying to get my drive back… I am dying to want that fitness motivation back in my life… where is it!? If you find it please let me know…

I miss it! There is nothing like that refreshing feeling that throbs through the body after a good workout. Sometimes it feels like I want to fall over and die, but other times I can picture myself running to the top of a million stairs to the beat of “Gonna Fly Now” {never saw the movie – just know the iconic scene!} I always think to myself when I begin to feel stressed: Go sweat it out. I wish I would listen to myself sometimes! Exercising is one of the best natural highs. It makes me forget about everything else going on in my life; it gives me the ability to empty my mind of all thoughts and concentrate on me. {ooohh… sounds a little selfish.} But I know that I have to take care of me to take care of my family. And call me crazy, but I love the feeling of sore muscles the next day. It is a reminder that I pushed myself… A reminder that the hard work I put in will yield some results! I love seeing people achieve their fitness goals. It makes me also think about doing the same for myself. I need to really come back to this idea for the New Year… I need to make some fitness goals but more than that, I really put my words into actions… I am craving some good fitness routines in my life.

Today I am thankful for exercise.